favorite romantic films

I feel almost embarrassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity. But that has not stopped me from enjoying them. - Mindy Kaling

Aside from the fact that I own a pair of ovaries, why do I like watching romantic films? I have to say it's the fantasy - the meet-cute, the outrageous declarations of love, the happy ending, the scenic locations, the cozy interiors, and the beautiful leads. It's hard to resist such a beautiful package. If horror films always have the lights off or dimmed; romantic films (especially romantic comedies), more often than not, show us a world where it's always sunny and upbeat. And in all honesty, I'm just really a sucker for a good love story. The highs of falling in love and the lows of heartbreak are so universal that it makes me wonder how filmmakers could possibly put a fresh spin on this tired, cliche-ridden genre. Personally, I like romantic films with lots of mundane conversation. I also like them sad. Ohhh I love me some decaying relationships. If the dialogue appears effortless, I know it's good writing. So without further ado here are some of my favorites. These are just off the top of my head. Feel free to share yours.

Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight (1995/2004/2013) - The Before series is The Godfather of romance films in my humble opinion. Choosing the best among these three films would be like choosing my favorite child, which would then translate to the middle, the youngest, and the eldest. I liked Sunset the best. See, I can choose. Midnight, for me, was the funniest and the sweetest. Sunrise? Oh well, we've all been there. Youth, love, and a city. I haven't seen anything that comes close to Richard Linklater's masterpiece (I know it's cheesy to say masterpiece but they really are). I've seen a number of conversation-driven romantic films but nothing has topped the effortless dialogue, vibe, and nuance of these films. Don't we all want to meet that cute stranger on a train and prance around a European city talking about pretentious shit like we own the world? Or better yet don't we all want that connection so deep you keep coming back for more? This stuff is made for movies.
"Isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?"

Celeste & Jesse Forever (2012) - Starring Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg, this film is about a divorcing couple and their stupid belief that they could still be friends while going through their divorce. It delves into the complexity of breaking-up with someone and how there's no such thing as clean break-ups. The meltdown was slow-moving. Both parties were in denial stage for quite a long time. As the reality of the break-up sets in slowly but surely, the moment of clarity was heartwrenching for both Celeste and Jesse. They had chemistry. They were together for so long. But things have happened - Jesse got another girl pregnant and Celeste took too long to realize she had taken Jesse for granted. Sometimes there's just no turning back. And you know what? It's okay. Celeste & Jesse did what most romantic films fail to portray - move on.
"For the record, I fucked up. I was cavalier with you. And I took us for granted and I know this sounds crazy but I would be remiss if I didn’t… just… If you were open to it, I feel like I could do better with you. With us. And if there’s still a chance… I’d love to know.”

Last Night (2010) - This is the prettiest romantic movie I've ever seen. I mean talk about fantasy world. Last Night is about good-looking, privileged people who appear to have everything - spacious NY apartments, creative and fulfilling jobs, fashionable clothing, New Yorkers, French literati etc. So what is their problem? It's easy to dismiss rich people problems as frivolous especially when starving people in third world countries aren't overthinking "the one that got away." Like who has the time for that? But when it comes to relationships, I do believe we all experience the same brand of drama in one way or another. Last Night questions the severity of emotional cheating versus physical cheating. Which is worse? It explores the struggles of long-term relationships - the minute details of being with someone for so long, the temptations of someone new, and the possible rekindling of an old flame. Bourgeois or not, I enjoyed every minute of this make-believe world.
"In the middle of most nights, when I can't sleep I still replay you."

Blue Valentine (2010) - In the world of break-up films, this is one of the darker ones. Dark because it's raw and uncomfortable. The first time I watched Blue Valentine I was going though a break-up myself so I was probably way too invested than necessary. But I dare you not to see the truth in this film regardless of whether you went through something similar or not. As I think about it now, it's incredibly refreshing to see such a realistic portrayal of a decaying relationship. The film accurately depicts the couple's current, depressing status quo (lack of joy, no sex, complete disdain for each other) all the while showing glimpses of how they started (giddy, ukelele-singing love birds).  For me there's something so romantic about the complete anti-thesis of happily-ever-afters. After the wedding, we seldom see what really happens ten years in. If you're in the mood for sadness (haha) or just a great script, then this is a must-see.
"I'm so out of love with you. I've got nothing left for you, nothing, nothing. Nothing, there is nothing here for you."

Definitely, Maybe (2008) - One of the more underrated modern romantic films in my humble opinion. Definitely, Maybe is the film counterpart of How I Met Your Mother. Alright, don't judge it yet. The movie is about Will (Ryan Reynolds), a middle-aged man, who tells the story of his three girlfriends to his daughter Maya. He changes the girlfriends' names so that Maya will have to guess who her mother is in the story. However, apart from the love story, Will recalls his life as a young man in the early 90s, how idealistic he was in pursuing his dream of becoming the next president of the United States. Of course, along the way, life happens. His idealism slowly fades in direct proportion to the rise and fall of Clinton's presidency. The narrative style gets you involved although the tropes used easily gives away who the mother is and who he ends up with. It's a light romantic comedy with just the right amount of wit and personal introspection.
What do you mean, 'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfil an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?

Silver Linings Playbook (2012) - Charm is the ability to make people feel good about themselves, and that's exactly what Silver Linings Playbook did for me. The story revolves around Pat (Bradley Cooper), a man with bipolar disorder who just got out of a mental institution. He develops a kooky friendship with his neighbor Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), a recent widow who struggles with depression and low self-esteem. The way they relate to each other and to the people around them is such a joy to watch. They are real. They say things as they see it. They're not full of shit. This film puts a positive spin on how all of us struggle with our own flaws and how nice it would be to find someone who loves you just as you are (Hello Mr. Darcy?) warts and all. The portrayal of crazies in this film is quite a riot.
"You might not have experienced the shit that I did — but you loved hearing about it, didn't you? You are afraid to be alive! You're afraid to live! You're a conformist! You're a hypocrite! You're a liar! I opened up to you and you judged me! You're an asshole! You're an asshole!"

500 Days of Summer (2009) - Tom and Summer. Poor Tom. Ugh Summer. That was my initial reaction when I first watched 500 Days of Summer. With repeat viewing, I can say assigning blame wasn't exactly what the film was about. 500 Days of Summer uniquely captures the many stages of a relationship by randomly recounting the days they were together. It switches back and forth from the day they ended as a couple to the time they first met. If Blue Valentine was sadness personified, 500 Days of Summer embodies the meet-cute rather than the demise. However, the best scene of the film was, in fact, the demise: the split-screen treatment of Reality vs Expectation. Damn, it hits you hard. How many times have you found yourself wishing for one thing and experiencing the worst possible scenario? For me, this film is a fresh and notable addition to the contemporary romcom genre.
"Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real."

Conversations with Other Women (2005) - Is it enough to say Helena Bonham Carter is the reason you should watch this film? No? Okay. This indie film is quite unique story-wise and filmmaking-wise. It might be a stretch to call it experimental but it definitely feels that way. The story unfolds like a play. We see a man and a woman who attend as guests in a wedding. They start talking. We start guessing. Are they complete strangers? Are they ex-lovers? The split-screen technique is used throughout the entire movie. This adds to the disorienting mood and mystery of these two characters. We only have their banter to follow. The more I got sucked into their world, the more I cared about their characters. Finally, I gotta give props to the acting chops of Helena Bonham Carter and Aaron Eckhart. They made it look easy.
"Sometimes people who really love each other, well, they have an uncanny knack for making each other miserable. And now I'm happy. Of course I'm happy."

In Search of a Midnight Kiss (2007) - I've bookmarked this movie after it came up a couple of times  as a suggestion for people who liked the Before series. It wasn't love at first watch. Well at least not the first part of the characters' meeting. The film's opening monologue did hook me - Wilson (Scott McNairy) posted a personal ad on Craigslist looking for a date on New Year's Eve. Vivian (Sara Simmonds) responds but she's not without her own set of drama. Vivian wants to meet the right guy before midnight strikes. The meet-up that follows involves lots of talking, walking, and arguing. Though it's far from perfect, I could relate to the film's premise of modern dating - how people feel ironically lonely and isolated despite the growing digital connectedness that we have today. For a low-budget film, it delivers a satisfying slice of life most people my age can relate to.
"Misanthrope seeks misanthrope. Honestly, if you respond to this ad then you are probably not the kind of woman I'd go out with. I guess I'm lonely and it's  New Year's, and I'm willing to embarrass the hell out of myself with this ad. About me: my girlfriends over the years have been intelligent and beautiful. In the end, they have all broken my heart. Whatever that means. My friend says I have to have a photo. So here it is. Talk to you soon. Wilson.

When Harry Met Sally (1989) - It would be a sin not to include this on my list. When Harry Met Sally tries to answer the age-old question on whether men and women could really be platonic friends. Harry met Sally when the former hitched a ride to New York post-graduation from the University of Chicago. They're polar opposites of each other and hate each other's guts. Their paths would cross on several occasions and soon they find themselves progressing from enemies to friends to lovers. I don't need to emphasize that the story is solid, the dialogue is funny, and the acting is on-point. I have a feeling the phrase feel-good was first used to describe When Harry Met Sally. It takes the blues away.
Harry: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.