no I'm not impossible to touch I have never wanted you so much

I felt lonely today.

I decided to go out and treat myself. When I say treat myself I mean go to Cubao and ukay. That didn't go well for me because there's no New Arrival, and I just don't find it appealing to scour thrifted items that are more or less doubly rejected. So I went home empty-handed save for the Dummy D40 book I have always wanted to buy.

It was early evening and I really had no drive to work. I decided I could go out for dinner with a friend but then I bailed out as soon as she said yes. What is going on here? I just want to feel something, anything other than loneliness. And thus I decided to watch Before Sunrise. Boy, did I feel great!

I think this is the movie (and of course Before Sunset) I'll be watching each year just because it makes me feel really good inside. Before Sunrise is the best boy-meets-girl film I've ever seen. Europe. Strangers. Conversation. Train Ride. Cafes. I couldn't ask for anything more. 

Have you ever watched a movie that resonates so deeply you almost always catch yourself laughing and crying because it's just so real and so romantic? I did exactly that. I love how these two characters, Jesse and Celine, connected in a way that felt so natural. It's amazing because it's rare to see these kinds of moments on film. I love how they portrayed the difference between men and women, specifically their views (and reactions) toward love, career, and sex. And I love how their conversation flows. One minute they're talking about American culture and the next they're lashing out on ex-lovers. 

There were many instances I could actually see myself in. I've been a fan of Q&A talks, the one where you ask someone a question and they just have to answer it honestly. I think it's a straight forward way of getting to know someone, and it's always interesting to hear the answers of people. Stuff like your first sexual feeling or first childhood memory or have you ever been in love -- these are the things I want to know about a person.

If I could do I slow clap I probably would have when Celine uttered these words:

"I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more? "

Lastly, I totally lost it with this song. It's exactly what I needed today.