weird dreams

I've been having weird dreams lately.

Someone dragged me out of bed while I was asleep, and pulled me under the computer table. I was screaming on top my lungs and my roommate was pulling me out. And then I woke up. Okay nightmare. Next!

I went back to sleep. Next thing I knew I was on the same table with Johnny Depp, dining and not talking. I was really cool about it. He was talking to someone who eventually left. Johnny was having a cup of coffee and smoking cigarettes. I didn't feel giddy whatsover. I just know he was The Johnny Depp. 

And then someone came to the table. He resembled someone: curly hair, lanky silhouette, and camel suit. His face was in disguise, something like a Halloween make-up. He ate my order and he was apologizing for it. And then it dawned on me that he was Matthew Gray Gubler. When he realized I already recognized him, he began to ran away from me and I chased him like a madman. 

I can't remember exactly what happened in between. All I knew was that I was up in the air with Matthew and we were about to skydive. Yes, freakin skydiving with Matthew Gray Gubler. I love my dreams. He held my hand, and I was screaming as we went ahead and jumped from the helicopter, together! 

When I landed, I saw my two sisters who were probably skydiving themselves. I told them I'd come home with them because I miss my mother so much. So I went home and saw my mother cooking in the kitchen. I remember arguing with my sister while I was taking a bath. And then the weirdest thing happened. When I was drying myself with a towel, I noticed I grew four extra nipples on my left breasts - well, actually I had five left breasts all lined-up vertically on the left side of my body. The horror! 

I quickly got off the shower and told my mother and sisters about it. I even showed them the freaky nipples. My mother just said, "Oh, that's weird. Maybe you need to have it checked." 

"You think?"

My sisters were not at all surprised too. I was freaking out now. I went to the mirror crying and as I looked at myself... oh for the love of God my right breasts have also multiplied - this time they were shaped like hearts. Nipple human hearts, the one with all the ventricles. And the original five left breasts/nipples became penises. Nipple penises. Dear Lord. What the f is happening to me? I'm a mother dog with lotsa nipples. A bitch. Waahhhhhhhh!!!

And then I woke-up. I was laughing so hard. I looked liked this. I wish I was making all these up.

What could these dreams possibly mean?