ciao

"Never too old, never too sick, never too bad, never too late to start from scratch and begin again."  -Bikram Choudhury

I'm dreaming of sunrise, sunsets and lazy days at the beach. Signing off for now. Second chances are rare. I better not screw it. I got a lot of work to do for now. I'll be back with the sun. ;)

the proust questionnaire

I've been meaning to answer this for quite some time now. I thought it was created by Marcel Proust. Turns out, the reason why it was named after him was because he had the most memorable answers to date. Hmmm... I find his answers too serious, or maybe I'm looking for more relatable answers. This questionnaire is believed to reveal your true nature. Okay, let's see how this goes.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Happiness, for me, is doing what I love to do. It is also about being with people whom I can just be myself. Travelling with friends and loved ones is also a big source of happiness.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Growing old alone.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I tend to put things off for later aka procrastination, and also I'm a passive-aggressive person.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

 Dishonesty, insincerity, and negativity.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

My parents, Tim Gunn, Kate Moss, Lulu Chang, Garance Dore. I can't choose only one.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Interestingly, I'm not really an extravagant person. I mostly spend too much money when I go out with friends. In terms of material possession, probably my leather jacket, and my excessive collection of magazines and books.

7. What is your current state of mind?

Right now, I'm inspired, penchant and relaxed.

8. What do you consider as the most overrated virtue?

I really can't think of any right now. But I would tend to agree that Forgiveness can be overrated. I'm not sure if one can really and truly ever forgive someone.

9. On what occassion do you lie?

I tend to tell white lies to spare someone from unnecessary worry, discomfort or pain. If I feel that the truth won't help, I'll most likely lie.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

My height and my nose.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

I don't really despise anyone. Hate is an all-consuming feeling.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

The ability to pamper me.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Unpretentiousness. (Style, confidence, humor and individuality are the top five qualities)

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Shit, "te", iloveit, gow, char

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My father.

16. When and where were you happiest?

When my mom jokes around in our house, first year college with girlfriends, early inuman sessions with high school friends, passing UPCAT, early years with Prince.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

I wish I was good at dancing. Also I would love to be good at sketching.

18. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

I would love to be more independent and decisive.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Probably surviving my hectic college days: studying, working and doing theater. Living independently in Manila, and earning my own money at age 18. Most recently, I'd say surviving a break-up.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

A French woman. Or a man.

21. Where would you most like to live?

In Paris.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My laptop, my camera and my magazines.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Having my heart broken.

24. What is your favorite occupation?

I haven't experienced it yet. I'd like to be a stylist, an editor or a travel show host.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

I have a wicked sense of humor. (I'm humbled haha)

26. What do you most value in your friends?

I value their support, the dreams we share, our deep and not so deep conversations, and their ability to make me laugh and vice versa.

27. Who are your favorite writers?

I don't really like this question for some reason. Haruki Murakami, David Sedaris, and Simone de Beauvoir.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Nancy Drew. LOL. (Wendy Moira Angela Darling, Carrie Bradshaw, Amelie and Frances Mayes of Under the Tuscan Sun)

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I honestly don't know.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

My mama and papa, seriously.

31. What are your favorite names?

Yvonne, Elise, and Anouck.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

I don't like pain, whether physical or emotional, slapstick humor, complainers, vinegar, paksiw and texting.

33. What is your greatest regret?

I regret not finishing college on time.

34. How would you like to die?

Hopefully, a painless death.

35. What is your motto?

You are what you think.

The picture above is the product of Poladroids. Jing introduced me to poladroids and I'm addicted. It's really fun.

i feel like writing tonight

I'm trying to switch things up a little bit. So I went to the grocery store and bought myself something to cook for dinner. If you know me, you'll know this doesn't sound like me at all. But I wanted to prepare myself dinner, cook for myself, mind you. Nothing really fancy, just my comfort food: porkchop and tomatoes. I bought myself some ice cream too. So there I was enjoying my home-cooked meal, and then I realized I felt peaceful with myself. It's been so long since I felt this way. The past six months were one of the darkest moments of my adult life. Rock-bottom would be an understatement. After that, it's been a roller coaster of emotions. But I was surprised at how much hope I had in me. It's unbelievable. Every time I feel like giving up, it always dawned on me how much I wanted so much more out of life and that this cannot be it. When I listened to songs that made me cry a few months ago, lo and behold there's not much to cry about anymore. I still have a long way to go. But damn, I'm so proud of myself. How about that?

bizu

Last Tuesday, my soul sistah and I went to Bizu, a French cafe nestled in Greenbelt 3. Why do I get self-conscious sharing beautiful pictures of food, feeling so damn privelege and all that? Well, I don't do this often, so I was really happy and ecstatic to spend the afternoon feeling really dolled-up and glamorous. Let me back track a little bit. I'm smiling right now as I type the word glamorous because we were from it, so to speak. You know how annoying it is to see people who go to restaurants, clad with their DSLRs, and start taking shameless photos of themselves and their food? Well hello? But I must say, it feels pretty damn nice to be on the other side of the fence. "Who cares? These people don't know us personally. What gives!"

If there's one thing that I love about this place other than the gorgeous lighting, it's the service. Excellent service. The staff was really warm and accommodating, not a tad of judgmental and unapproachable servers. The pastries were okay. It didn't blow me away, except for this one piece of hors d'oeuvre when I was like, "what is going on?". I wish I knew more about what I was eating. But then again, we went there primarily to enjoy eating with our eyes rather than with our mouths. Teas are a revelation to me, and the chamomile tea we had was a pleasant surprise. It had that soothing aroma and taste that makes you feel all good inside. I also ordered a cappuccino with "heart". With all the things I see online, I've always wanted to experience that coffee with a crude image of a heart, and the manager was more than happy to oblige. I hope we can go back soon, and by that time eat something hearty since I'm done with the pretend English country-side afternoon tea. I loved it nevertheless.